Fantasy Football Mock: Round 1

10. Peyton Manning, QB - IND. Peyton's place at number ten has as much to do with his consistency as it does with the inconsistency and unpredictability of other options taken in this spot. DeAngelo Williams' value is depleted by Jonathan Stewart, the Packers' pass-happy offense makes Ryan Grant slightly less attractive, Steven Jackson is on a team with no other threats, and chasing another 20+ TD season for Randy Moss can wait until Round 2.

9. Drew Brees, QB - NO. Brees replaced Peyton Manning as the QB to own in fantasy, then Aaron Rodgers came along. Approaching 400 points in traditional formats last year, he surpassed even Brees, who is still as safe a bet as anyone in football to score 350 this year. At pick number nine, grab Brees and get your RB1 or WR1 with your next selection at twelve (or 16 in 12-team formats).

8. Aaron Rodgers, QB - GB. With the top-tier backs and the one truly elite receiver off the board, grab the best QB. Brees or Rodgers is basically a coin-flip in most drafts this season, but I give the edge to Rodgers for his ability to run and his more consistent set of weapons.

7. Maurice Jones-Drew, RB - JAX. Aren't smokescreens great? In an era when essentially no backs of any worth are used in the preseason, talk of MoJo's "balky knee" have understandably scared some owners off. Jack Del Rio has insisted that his miniature hoss is ready to go, and based on his track record and his ability to tote the football after the catch, you have to take MJD inside the top 7. Still, any talk of injury, especially a knee, is enough to move Gore and Turner ahead of Jones-Drew.

6. Michael Turner, RB - ATL. Gore edges out Turner because of his pass-catching ability out of the backfield, and because he's further removed from a serious injury. Both are risks, but both are high-reward studs that can't be passed up.

5. Frank Gore, RB - SF. Regardless of how the top four shake out in your league, Gore will go fifth. If you have the fifth spot, take him. If you have the sixth spot and he's still on the board, rejoice, then take him. At age 27, Gore should churn up 2,000+ yards from scrimmage.

4. Andre Johnson, WR - HOU. Andre's selection at #4 is not taken lightly. The three elite backs to have this year are AP, CJ and Rice without any doubt. After those three are off the board, and with more pointgetters at QB than at WR, I put it to you, are you willing to hand your season to Frank Gore's knees or Michael Turner's ankles? In PPR's where AJ's 100 catches get you an additional 100 points, this is an easy call. Based on whispers about MoJo's left knee and with Larry Fitzgerald's QB on the couch, I'll take the wideout in the best possible scenario to score every week.

3. Ray Rice, RB - BAL. Baltimore's version of "Pocket Hercules" surpasses MJD himself in 2010 thanks in large part to the addition of Anquan Boldin, another weapon on a team whose defense should provide Rice plenty of Red Zone carries. In PPR leagues he's a no-brainer, and I'm taking him third in traditional leagues as well.

2. Chris Johnson, RB - TEN. Tennessee's stud is going #1 in the majority of leagues, and for good reason. His upside is unmatched, but with defenses now fully focused on him and after an extremely heavy workload in his monster 2009 campaign, select Johnson at number two and no lower.

1. Adrian Peterson, RB - MIN. Picking number one usually means your next pick will be at around #20, meaning the player you select better be one to hang your hat on all season. That said, I'm taking A-Pete first overall if that's my draft position, as the write-it-down RB that will play to his resume in 2010.

NFL Should Fine Jets' Ryan

Amid Rex Ryan's constant effluvium of vulgarity, "We're gonna win this f*cking league," should earn him a fine from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. In a quick semantic analysis, we have to admit that for many the word "f*cking" has replaced "goddamned" as a way to curse something or someone in a general way. As we've matured and evolved as a society, "Goddamn you" has become "F*ck you" and so forth. Therefore, Rex has basically said that his Jets are going to win this "goddamned league" or this cursed league.

Without delving into how many kids have expanded their street vocabularies watching Hard Knocks on their DVR or HBO On Demand (they do that, parents) let us think what "f*cking league" he's talking about. Is this the same league that makes it possible for him to make 7 figures coaching football? Indeed it is. Rex can say whatever he wants to his players, about his players, to his coaches, about his coaches, about ownership, the fans. But there should be a pause button before sprinkling that extra f-bomb in front of his benefactor.

While it's no surprise that Tom Brady hates the Jets (would you ever want your player saying he liked another team?) his refusal to watch their show has stoked the flames of rivalry to beyond Mangini-Belichick Cold-War heat.

New England visits the Jets in their new home Week 2, in a game that's currently scheduled for Sunday at 4:15pm but should be played Monday Night (instead of Saints/Niners). But will the Pats visit an 0-1 team that has already lost its new-home opener in their quest to "lead the league in wins?" Jets fans should hope Joe Flacco, Ray Rice, Anquan Boldin and Ray Lewis are taking the Tom Brady approach to their Wednesday night viewing.

Counting Down the 20 Best Sports Films

21. The Natural. I honestly believe and will argue that the 20 films below are better.

20. The Hurricane. Denzel tour de force is better than Million Dollar Baby in its sleep.

19. Miracle. Kurt Russell actually overplays Herb Brooks, but no-name cast seals this one.

18. Friday Night Lights. Gritty and authentic, this is one well acted film.

17. Remember the Titans. Denzel joins Charlie Sheen (Major League, Eight Men Out), James Earl Jones (Field of Dreams, The Sandlot) and directors David Anspaugh (Hoosiers, Rudy) and John G. Avildsen (Rocky, The Karate Kid) in making this list twice, much to Kevin Costner's chagrin. Chelcie Ross (Ed Harris, Dan Devine) has earned himself an honorary spot in Romoville for his work in three top-ten films: Hoosiers, Major League and Rudy.

16. Breaking Away. Townies vs. college kids? Sold!

15. A League of Their Own. Girls playing baseball achieves non-chick flick status.

14. The Sandlot. A movie that goes where you want it to the first time you see it and feels like you've seen it a hundred times right after.

13. Happy Gilmore. Bob Barker's left jab will hit you in the side.

12. Chariots of Fire. Best Picture 1981 is slow, but from a time when Best Picture winners were pretty darn good.

11. The Bad News Bears. Walter Matthau was amazing with those kids.

10. Rudy. Who that has seen Rudy can honestly say they didn't like it? Best football movie ever.

9. The Karate Kid. 1980's Rocky clone hit the nail on the head for its generation.

8. Major League. My guess is Little Leaguers still quote the hell out of this one.

7. Field of Dreams. The top two baseball movies both center around the '19 Sox. This one really makes you feel.

6. Cinderella Man. Ron Howard may have wanted to call it Cinematography Man. It's that good.

5. Eight Men Out. Wonderfully cast recount of the 1919 Chicago Black Sox scandal.

4. Raging Bull. DeNiro and Scorcese at the top of their game.

3. Hoosiers. The ultimate comeback movie. Who isn't an underdog in Hickory?

2. Caddyshack. The funniest movie of all time? It's up there.

1. Rocky. Imagine a world with no Rocky sequels. Better yet, watch the original again, then imagine it.

Big in Japan

In eight years since Sweet Lou left Seattle, the Mariners have had six managers. With all due respect to Bob Melvin, Mike Hargrove, John McLaren, Jim Riggleman, Don Wakamatsu and Daren Brown, it takes a special kind of competitor to win consistently in Major League Baseball.

The challenge of motivating a team, not only through a 162-game schedule, but over a decade of 162-game seasons (and postseasons) is one that can only be met by a handful of special individuals. Mike Scioscia, Joe Torre, Terry Francona, Buck Showalter, Bobby Cox, Tony LaRussa-- these are men that deserve their jobs as long as they want them.

Bobby Valentine, also one of the best baseball minds in the world, may now return to the game at its top level. There should be no hesitation. Mariners' GM Jack Zduriencik (pronounced ZA-REN-SICK, ask Mike Krzyzewski) should be working hard to get Valentine signed. If they do, they would instantly throw themselves right into the mix for the division crown in 2011. It's that simple.

The losers in all of this wind up being, coincidentally or not, the New York Mets. The Mets had Zduriencik working in their front office and decided instead to hand control of the organization to a trio of more camera and MS Word-friendly (and less baseball-savvy) youngsters, who wound up being sex maniac Steve Phillips, Scott Kazmir scapegoat Jim Duquette, and utter failure Omar Minaya. While Phillips was firing Valentine, Zduriencik was drafting Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder for the Brewers.

It is also well documented that Bobby V. highly recommended the Mets sign Ichiro out of Japan, having managed there and having scouted him personally. The Mets were in financial position to outbid the Mariners for the now Cooperstown-bound Ichiro, but opted against Valentine's advice back in 2001. The Mets with Zduriencik at GM, Valentine at manager and Ichiro at RF would have worked. Perhaps it will work in Seattle.

Bobby has managed in Japan twice, speaks the language, and won the Japan Series with the Chiba Lotte Marines in 2005. Nintendo of America owns the Mariners. America loves Nintendo. America loves Ichiro. America loves Bobby. Japan loves Bobby-san. Ichiro wants Bobby-san. Bobby lobbied for Ichiro. Zduriencik was Director of the Mets Minor League Operations for two years while Bobby was their big league skip, so they have worked together before. It makes too much sense.

Sports I Don't Love

I'm not one to engage in hyberbole so I never find myself saying, "Oh, I love all sports." It's simply not true. I can say I truly love baseball, football, basketball, soccer, boxing, golf, tennis, cricket, and lately I'm warming up to the frosty pond. But there are a few sports that don't get my mark.

MMA is great fun, and I definitely enjoy it. My issue with Mixed Martial Arts is just how widespread it has become, how adored, idolized and emulated its stars have become, and how desensitized to real violence we as a nation have become.

On the topic of role models and overexposure, is it impossible to imagine that a kid today might look up to and want to be like Phil Ivey the same way kids wanted to be like Ken Griffey, Jr. a decade ago? The youth of this country have been exposed and overexposed to a game that is most likely illegal to play in their town at any age, and thanks to uber-coverage of the World Series of Poker, The World Poker Tour and others, may now have the new-age aspiration of being a professional card player.

On professional competitive eating, specifically to the International Federation of Competitive Eating (IFOCE) and Major League Eating (MLE), please stop eating. Yes, Nathan's donates 100,000 hot dogs every year on July 4th, and they should continue to do so, and publicize it as much as they like. But they should also line up people that are hungry and feed 56 people one lunch instead of feeding Joey Chestnut 56 lunches. They could televise it if they want. It's the message it sends to the rest of the world, that there are individuals (aside from food critics) who eat for a living in this country.

NASCAR is the sport that exhausts the most natural resources in the U.S., and even with baseball players waltzing in and out of Congress like they used to at Walgreen's, is the most politically charged. The concept of burning thousands and thousands of gallons of gasoline for our entertainment and financial gain is almost unthinkable, were we to re-imagine the world. It's not even NASCAR itself that's the most troublesome, it's the minor leagues of NASCAR where they burn the same fossil fuel for even less profit and the chance to one day burn it at the highest level.

As it races passed other sports in popularity, getting people to see the true nature of NASCAR and the hypocrisy of burning oil for fun and profit here while our sons and daughters are fighting and dying to protect it overseas is an extraordinarily difficult task. This is because it requires changing the hardest thing in the world: people's minds.

Next time we celebrate our freedom, America, let us think of our self-titled track and ask ourselves, freedom to do what?

"My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrims' pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

Welcome to Romoville

Heaven has hell, Neo has Agent Smith, Michael Cera has Jesse Eisenberg. Our first groundbreaking ceremony was for Bannywood, the home of baseball's cheats. Bannywood, meet your Jesse Eisenberg.

Welcome to Romoville, a nice place to live. Romoville has been established for those in Major League Baseball worthy of recognition, who are not getting enough. Future inductees will include Ken Griffey, Jr. and Jim Thome, to name a pair of surefire Hall of Famers that deserve even more credit for doing it natural and doing it off pitchers that weren't.

For our first inductee, we are honoring the most unabashed homer in broadcasting, Ken "The Hawk" Harrelson. For 20 years, the Hawk has cheered on the Chicago White Sox from the broadcaster's booth, trading objectivity for youthful enthusiasm. Make no mistake, the Hawk means it when he refers to the Sox as "our guys"; he left the booth to become the team's GM in the 1980's, so it really is his team.

Homerism is up all across the league thanks to announcers like the Marlins' Rich Waltz and Tommy Hutton, and Daron Sutton and Mark Grace in Arizona. The Fish and D-Backs crews are the Hawk's apostles in an ever-less-objective profession. Announcers who transmit their personal allegiances through their broadcasts can come in two forms: Smug Homers and Unabashed Homers. Smug Homers are arrogant, shocked when the other team is successful. Announcers like Joe Buck, John Sterling and Bert Blyleven are headed for Bannywood. Unabashed Homers are just super-excited when their team does well, but always give plenty of respect for the pitcher that's held them down or the hitter that's given them fits.

As a player, Hawk Harrelson was a feared hitter and a valued teammate. An innovator, he is credited for being the first to use batting gloves, a practice he carried over from his experience as a golfer. In his time as primary announcer for the White Sox, he has coined many of the game's great nicknames, including "Black Jack" McDowell, "El Caballo," and "The Big Hurt."

To honor The Hawk as the first Romoville inductee, here are some of our favorite nicknames in baseball.

Martin "The Devil Wears" Prado
The Mad Bomber (Madison Bumgarner)
Fast Car (Fausto Carmona)
Mr. Happy (Neftali Feliz)
Dan "Winning" Uggla
David "First in Saves" Aardsma
Buster "Parker" Posey
E-Jack (Edwin Jackson)
Kevin You-Kill-Us
Charleston Chew Sabathia (We finally found out what the CC stands for!)

The Buck Stops Here, Hon.

Buck Showalter's presence makes everyone feel more accountable, according to Orioles CF Adam Jones. Overpaid athletes in search of motivation has been a real problem for managers this season, but unlike Hanley Ramirez and B.J. Upton, Adam Jones isn't getting paid in the millions yet. Though clearly not perfect (one would hope being paid $465,000 to play a game would be motivation enough to try one's best) his comments are very welcome in Baltimore.

By bringing in Showalter, Orioles' GM Andy McPhail immediately brought credibility and a winning attitude back to Baltimore for the first time since 1997 when Davey Johnson was manager. Since their last playoff appearance 13 years ago, the list of Orioles' skips reads like a "Who's not Who" of baseball managers. Ray Miller replaced Johnson and Mike Hargrove replaced him. Then came Lee Mazzilli and Sam Perlozzo (in that order) followed by Dave Trembley and Juan Samuel, all making their MLB managerial debuts with the O's.

There were two great candidates for the Oriole job, he and Bobby Valentine, and with his all-business approach, Buck was actually the best possible hire. Showalter was a key piece to the Yankees' resurgence in the 1990's and built the Arizona team that won the 2001 World Series under (and despite) Bob Brenly. Buck will demand accountability from his veterans, be able to help his young players take the next step, and perhaps most importantly, will identify and move young players that aren't taking that next step.

Buck was also easy on the wallet. His $1.5 million dollar salary is most likely less than Valentine would have asked for, is significantly less than Joe Girardi's $2.5 million, and is about a third of the money Joe Torre was able to command from the Dodgers in the best parley since Captain Jack Sparrow.

The 2008 Rays showed that despite the Yankees' $200 million dollar payroll and the Red Sox' continued pursuit of that number, it is possible to win the AL East from outside New York or Boston. It takes a talented group of 25 players, and the right manager to motivate them for 162 games and beyond.

"It's just that [Showalter's] presence, well, you can just feel the change coming. He's been on some winning ballclubs; he knows what it takes. Everybody knows his reputation around here. They know it as someone who's going to get on you, and it's working for us. He's looking at all the small things that are going on, the mental mistakes, and we haven't made too many." - Orioles CF Adam Jones

Dear Brett, We Don't Care

Rumors are swirling that Brett Favre has notified the Vikings of his plan to retire. If anyone cares, kindly cease and desist.

In terms of retirements, Favre wants to be "Like Mike" a little too much. He's made Sugar Ray Leonard look like Mike Schmidt. With his 7th official retirement, Brett has damaged his legacy in a way that his painkiller-aided MVP trophies could not. The drawn-out drama of will-he-or-won't-he has been less compelling with each and every retirement speech, notion, tweet, or text.

Congratulations, Brett. Your ego is now officially bigger than all of your on-field achievements. Whether or not he plays this year, (and let us reserve judgment on that until Week 4) his arrival on the field will have less to it. Only Vikings fans will be behind him, having destroyed his league-wide appeal himself. He has used his numerous "retirements" to get what he wanted, pure and simple.

Brett retired his way out of Green Bay when they moved on to Aaron Rodgers. In reality, he wanted to go to Minnesota and stick it in the Packers' ear. He couldn't go there directly, so he picked up $12 million for a year with the Jets, then soaked up the retirement sunset again. Free to sign with the Vikings, Brett had a great year at age 40, and is now giving the Vikings and their fans exactly what Packers fans had come to expect during every Favre offseason since he was 34: "The Decision."

For a moment, let's imagine he doesn't play in 2010. After a year off at age 42, would he not feel fan-favring-tastic?

Cricket, Explained.

Cricket is a bat-and-ball game that predates baseball by hundreds of years. Cricket, (along with a game called rounders), is the genesis of our national pastime, yet remains relatively unknown and absolutely unloved by Americans. This is due to less overall interest in a sport that isn't ours, but also stems from a lack of understanding of a truly great ballgame.

In cricket, each team has 11 players. Before the match, the winner of a coin-flip decides whether their side will bat first or second. The batting side will attempt to score the most amount of runs possible, while the defending or bowling team will try to limit that number. In a One-Day International (ODI) match, each team must bat and bowl 50 overs. An over is a set of six balls (pitches) that one individual must make, totaling 300 that each team must throw/defend, and 300 balls to reach the highest batting total possible.

To start, the first two batters in the order walk out to two spots about 60 feet apart at two wickets that are dug into the ground. At one end stands the bowler, facing the batting crease. Each wicket stands a little more than 2 feet high x 9 inches wide, and has two small pieces of wood called bails sitting across the top. The bowler's main objective is to bowl the cricket ball past the batter's bat, have it hit the wicket and knock off the bails. This is called getting clean bowled, and results in the batter being out.

Unlike in baseball, the batter in cricket has the option of whether or not to run, and there is no foul territory. The batsmen's primary objective is to protect the wicket and avoid being clean bowled, so some of the shots they play are defensive in nature, and some go backward. Simply protecting their wicket will not result in any runs however, which are scored when a batter strikes a ball and opts to run to the other wicket, 60 feet away. When a batter runs, their partner must also run, and each must reach the opposite wicket before the defending team is able to knock the bails off the wicket with the ball. If they are able to switch positions, the batter has hit a single, which results in a run for the batting side.

If the batter is able to hit it far enough that he may run and run back, he has hit a double, and two runs are scored. If the batter hits a ball that reaches the boundary of the cricket pitch, this is called a four and the batter is awarded all four runs without having to run it out. When the batter hits it over the boundary on the fly, he has hit a six, or cricket's equivalent to a home run. An effective pairing will usually have one player defending his wicket and trying to hit singles, his partner playing aggressively for fours and sixes. In 50 overs, 300 runs is usually a good benchmark for a batting side, averaging one run per ball thrown.

The finality of cricket fuels much of its appeal; unlike baseball, once a batter is out, their day is done. To say a team is all out, means that all 11 batsmen have had their wickets taken (made out) before the 50 overs were completed. In these cases, you would say their score was 212, all out. When a team stays on the pitch for the full 50 overs, their score would be 314-5, or 314 runs for 5 wickets fallen.

Bowlers can record outs by clean bowling a batter, or by inducing the batter to hit a ball that is caught full-toss, or without hitting the ground, by one of the fielders. An out is also recorded if a batter opts to run, but the fielding team is able to retrieve the ball and hit the wicket with it while a runner is caught in between. This is called being run out. The other way an out is recorded is if the batter is hit by the ball, but is judged to have blocked the ball from hitting the wicket with his leg pad. This is called leg before wicket (LBW), and when a bowler suspects that a batter may have protected the stumps with his leg will shout, "How's that?!" to the official.

The wicketkeeper acts as the catcher, and is the only player on the pitch that is permitted to wear a glove; the other 10 field barehanded. All bowlers bounce the ball on almost every delivery, with the odd full-toss delivery usually resulting in a boundary. Bowlers, prohibited from bending their arms whatsoever during their ballet-like run-up, use spin or pace off the bounce to confound batters, aiming to hit a target less than a foot wide.

To some of the most skilled performers in the world, we salute you.

Check out one of the great individual performances of all-time - South Africa's Herschelle Gibbs hitting six 6s in one over against the Netherlands in the 2007 World Cup.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwqBoVhOwas

Welcome to Bannywood

As Alex Rodriguez sits on the precipice of 600, are we sufficiently wondering how many of his lifetime homers occurred while his performance was being enhanced? The real question is, if you were caught for a small portion of a larger crime, would you then confess to the entirety of it? Probably not.

The Steroid Era fell over baseball like the shroud of the Dark Side. The "Juiced Ball" theory provided years of disguise for what was really going on, until a fallen hero revealed the true nature of The Force. Whether Jose Canseco has truly brought balance back to the sport can be debated, but what can not be disputed is that he, whatever his motivations, has now achieved legendary whistle-blower status and has redeemed himself with the game.

Canseco's path to Cooperstown is non-existent. His crusade probably began with the realization that he had fallen short statistically to gain even serious consideration for the Hall of Fame. Now, having moved so many of baseball's brightest stars from under the spotlight to under the microscope, and in so doing admitting the fallacy of his own achievements, he has been exiled from the game. But the healing power of spite has taken effect; names that he named were re-named, the rules have been re-written and punishments have been levied.

Baseball has a culture of cheating. More specifically, of trying to get away with things. The hidden ball trick, deeking a baserunner, and who that has ever played an inning can deny that their team would be all over them (perhaps physically) if they admitted to dropping a ball that was called an out. Leo Durocher stole signs and Joe Niekro threw a nail file with the ump walking toward him like Steve Howe threw baggies out the passenger window after getting pulled over. Craig Nettles littered the infield with superballs and Sammy Sosa actually labeled his corked bat. Baseball players will always try to cheat, because if they don't get caught, they didn't really cheat. Major League Baseball must value Canseco's role by continuing to police players in its constant struggle for professional integrity.

In this pursuit of the truth, it gives me great pleasure to announce Alex Rodriguez, the first Bannywood inductee. A-Rod's career achievements are astounding. He is the youngest player to hit 500 HR, his $275 million dollar contract is the richest in baseball history, and he appears poised to challenge Barry Bonds' all-time best 762 and possibly even 800.

With Barry Bonds busted-knee-deep in steroid allegations, many fans viewed A-Rod as the player that would give us back a clean Home Run King, like Hank Aaron. Instead, his confession in 2009 forces us to question Alex the same way we question Barry, and leaves us with a soon-to-be Home Run King that will replace Aaron as much as Bonds did.

In addition to some misplaced hardware (Frank Thomas' 2000 MVP trophy is in Jason Giambi's case, and who can say how many World Series winners have been juiced?), we must also conceive a new statistic: The PEHR (Performance-Enhanced Home Run). Having admitted to steroid use from 2001-2003, A-Rod has discounted 156 of his lifetime bombs, including a career high 57 in his roided-out 2002 campaign. This puts A-Rod at a maximum of 443 lifetime HR, and leaves us in a position to question how many of those were legit.

Welcome to Bannywood, Alex Rodriguez. You will never get my Hall of Fame vote.

Home Runs (All-Time)

Hank Aaron 755
Babe Ruth 714
Willie Mays 660
Ken Griffey, Jr. 630
Frank Robinson 586